“If you need to convince others that you’re happy, then you have not found real Joy. If you Need to impress others with material objects, then you do Not understand true Wealth. If you Need to correct others, then you have Not looked in the mirror. If you Need to put others down, you have Not connected to your Higher Self. Know Yourself. Be Honest with Yourself. Don’t be a teacher or judge, be an… Example.” — Eric Allen

I’m laughing at the title of this post. Writing these sentences before the next paragraph at the end of the post. My tangent ended up being the post… so the title is inaccurate. But I’m not going to change it.

ADHD and time lead to different output than planned.

I typically take an unconventional approach to learning. I just kinda consume what I wanna consume when I wanna consume it. Learn what I wanna learn when I wanna learn it. And practice what I wanna practice.

Theoretically. Practicing is a bit of a practice. I’ll own up to be a pseudo-hypocrite. I do my best to practice what I preach… it’s a practice though. Until I fall off or out and then quickly cut to something else. Satiating those ADHD base desires.

The separation process with my former spouse was pretty brutal on my psyche. So I decided to figure out how people work…

In an unconventional way.

If you’re paying attention to learning how people work then you’ll probably begin to hold a mirror up to yourself.

That’s when things can get complicated.

Introspection can be quite the bitch… and not a spayed one.

All that’s a thought for another time in another place.

Theoretically. Assuming I’m not standing where I’m standing at this sit-stand desk rn.

All of that’s on my mind because as the relationship I’m in with my girlfriend matures I’ve realized that it’s prudent to proactively find some sort of couples therapist/counselor/coach. The idea being that if we have a support system in place early then if any conflict arrises that is more challenging for two to work through then we’ve a third to guide the conversation.

It seems that most people go to therapy through some sort of crisis. So it’s nice to have this process in place prior so crisis’ will be averted. 🧐

Hah. And now a bit of a tangent. As I write this I’m on my way to meet up up with my partner then go to the mall to get a new screen protector and return something to be returned at one of the big box retailers.

I’m going to get a new screen protector because…

My phone has no screen protector.

I went Monday and the dude tending the counter said they’re out that they’d likely be back in on Wednesday.

Today is Saturday.

The phone I traded, and benefits from transferring carriers, has me having a new phone.

With no screen protector on it.

It’s been bare for almost a week and I hadn’t dropped it once. I frequently find myself fidgeting in some way.

Thanks AdHd.

Oftentimes it’s my phone. Just kinda spinning it between two fingers. Or tossing it in the air so it flips around then catch it. Or use it as some of sad makeshift comfort wand that I swing around.

It’s a sad makeshift wand because most wands that I’ve ever seen so far are supposed to be long and skinny.

This phone is not long and skinny. It is thicc and rectangular. Almost the antithesis of a wand.

Sorta. Smart phones are kinda magical to people that were kids and teens between the analog and digital divide. The Xenials. Some younger Gen-X’rs and some older Millennials too. It’s pretty interesting experiencing the world from 2 color boxes to billions of colors and an immersive virtual reality experience.

There was a key word up there though…

Hadn’t.

I like to take public transit when I’m not in a hurry… or I did a decent job at planning and it’s not raining. It’s not raining, I planned to go to the mall, and I baked a buffet of time into the plan.

I thought.

I pull up to the transit center at the same time as the MAX, wondering how tf I fucked that up. I swear I’d planned properly.

As the train is slowing at the station, I somehow manage to gather my things faster than a chinchilla addicted to crack.

Phone in hand. For tap-to-pay of course.

Not out of the habit of holding it in hand that’s now etched pretty deep into the vacuous cavern that is the back of my brain.

Immediately after I tap I try to put it back into the phone holder.

My pocket.

I fling the phone 6 feet away skidding across the concrete for at least 2. Screen-protector less.

I scoop it up as I’m running toward the doors of the train and make it just as they close. Now, I’m concerned as to whether or not I managed to scratch the virgin screen. Scuffing it or scratching it or whatever within the first week of taking it on.

I find a seat, sit, pull the phone out of the case, and begin buffing it with my shirt. I am very pleased that I had a case on it because there’s no damage to the device.

And as I go to put the phone into its holster it flings out of my hand and skids across the trains floor…

Face first.

jfc. sad lol.

I picked it up, buffed it again, and was pleased again. No evidence of the two first face first incidents.

Meanwhile earlier in the car.

I was going to put the busted screen protector into my bag. The busted screen protector was in a paper towel because it was busted. And it was glass. And glass is poky and pretty fucking uncomfortable to get stuck in you.

So it was in a paper towel.

And my car.

Apparently between me going to the mall the first time to be denied a glass protector, and Saturday – today – the day I’m flinging my phone on public transit – the glass degraded more than the state it was initially in when the protector.

When I picked up the paper towel itsy-bitsy glass particles slid out of the paper towel and all over my pants and body and arms and seat and bag.

Little teeny pieces of glass. The size of large sugar granules. Pretty sure I breathed some.

That was before the train incident.

Back to the top of the post and what it was initially about based on the title. That changed. It was prepended with bits as they happened. Go figure.

There is no going back to the top!

I need to wrap this post up because I have stuff to do and places to do stuff to be at.

And by all that I mean at home. In another room. Sliding into another context outside of this one.

I did it again.

Three posts.

Nice.

Til next month Tim.