“The deepest principle of human nature is the craving to be appreciated.” — William James

This is actually written on 2024-05-31. Once again, three posts written and unfinished throughout the month, three posts posted all on the same day.

I suppose that’s better than no posts in a month.

I’m revisiting “The Laws of Human Nature,” by Robert Greene. I forgot just how amazing, and pertinent, it is to how one lives their life. How one can better connect with others. How one can set themselves up for a better, more fulfilling, life.

And how you can protect yourself from people, and situations, that may have a net negative impact on how you live your life - your experience.

There are lots of stories, and bits of wisdom based on those stories, which are basically a crash course in socioemotional intelligence… and, in a way… hypnosis.

One of the stories is about Milton Erickson. Commonly referred to as one of the best hypnotherapists of all time. You can’t not be hypnotized by his stor(y|ies).

I really appreciate the sections of the book that use blatant conditional logic, such as:

  • When you do X, you will become more influential.
  • When you Y, then you set yourself up to protect yourself from toxic narcissists.
  • When you believe Z, you will have a better self perception.

And perception, in our current shared reality, is the only thing that matters.

The only thing.

So much so that we project what we want our realities, our experiences, to be, so that others will perceive what we want at a deep conscious, and unconscious, level.

You can consciously project confidence. But you may unconsciously play out deep patterns which contribute to some of the recurring problems that may be happening in your life.

People treat you the way you train them to. This is a really bitter pill I’m still tryna swallow. I guess. It’s really bitter tho. Super, super, bitter considering that I know that. And yet…

If we didn’t have a common, shared, sense of perceptions with one another, then we would not be able to agree with anyone on anything. We could not, and would not, communicate as well as we do as a species.

And “well” is really a stretch in 2024. Most people do not communicate “well” most of the time. But they think they do. They’re likely leaking their emotional state unintentionally, which can make communication unconsciously challenging.

Depending on what’s leaking, and when.

Perception is so important that each one of us animals crave it. We crave for others to be a part of our experience. Our reality. To agree with our beliefs. Our values.

We want everything for ourselves. Even what we want for others. That’s just kinda how we work, and that’s a good thing. And a bad thing.

Mostly a good thing though.

It’s me. I’m the leaky communicator that isn’t as good as communicating as I probably think I might be. Probably.

We want others validation so bad that we will do almost anything for those who support - who encourage - what we want. Who meet the criteria of what we need.

Who are our friend. Who want the best for us. And who encourages us to pursue the potential paths that bring us joy and satisfaction.

When someone does this, they are validating our reality. And we all want to feel as if our perception of reality is accurate.

Each one of us want to feel like who we are - what we think, what we value, what we believe - matters.

We want to feel intelligent. We want to feel like we’ve figured it all out. Which is a farce.

“All” can’t be figured out. “All” is never ending, in “all” ways. Every “all” is never, not, always infinite. Supposedly.

So we settle for validation.