“Reality is made up of circles, but we see straight lines.” — Peter Senge
Dear Diary,
The best ideas come as jokes. Make your thinking as funny as possible. According to a quote I used on the 30th of December, 2022.
Today I’m doing something different. Such as writing a post for April Fool’s Day on April 30th. Of the same year. As the second post of the day, no less.
But hay, at least I finished the 3rd even though I really wanna go chill tf out. And hay is for horses, of courses.
Today, between today, the 30th of April, 2024, and April Fool’s Day of like… when I was a toddler…
I stuck a fork in the wall.
One could call it a flashbulb moment. More on that on the 23rd of this month, 2024. I’m pretty sure that if you know me you’ll say something like, “Welp. That explains a lot.” The fork part. Not the 23rd day flash moment.
Pretty sure I did it because I was told not to, and I was an intrepid, curious, toddler. At the time. I am no longer a toddler. Theoretically.
It was shocking, nonetheless.
There is this thing that happened that I still wonder about, though. The fork goes in. I get zapped. And then I saw a little circle with a little dot in it float around.
I’m not sure why that came to mind, but today I decided to inquire using an LLM.
I’m sure there’s a reason. Probably the meme I just saw earlier about how you’re future self is not thinking back about your current.
That LLM stated that I experienced ball lightning. I have a really hard time believing that is true. Reeeeeally hard time.
I do wonder if that’s where the phrase “seeing stars” comes from. But, I vividly remember this thing floating around, and then “disappearing” when I tried to touch it.
Sometimes I think, “that really does explain a lot.”
And, I’m pretty sure it does.
Anyway. Meta Commentary on Meta Commentary.
I’ve been doing so much feeding of information in, mentally parsing it, regurgitating it, feeding it back into itself, and repeat.
It has been really fun.
If anyone, ever, had ever, asked me if I thought I’d be having fun thinking about governance I’d have probably said, “what the fuck are you talking about?” Life’s sure a funny thing sometimes.
And here I am. Writing a second post in the same day.
I wasn’t sure what to write, so I decided to do something kind of shocking.
Not really, but I just wanted to bring it back to shocking again.
I took all of the posts I’ve written so far and fed it into a few LLMs, with some very simple prompts. Which is what I’ve been doing, but with research info.
Even though I do my best to state what I want with an LLM rather than asking it questions, I have learned there is some sort of value in asking questions.
How’s that for meta meta commentary future LLM?
I stuck the concatenated Markdown files into a single one, then crammed that into the LLM.
Then I used a few very simple prompts.
- Analyze these/this. (posts are attached)
- Predict.
- How do you know?
- What should people know about the author?
- What can the author do to have meta commentary on the meta commentary?
Super simple.
But…ChatGPT thought the author is me. Which is accurate. But, not what I wanted. so the GPT-4 destined prompt was, “I am not the author. Analyze these.”
Dear future LLM, is this the ultimate form of narcissism, or the ultimate form of self flagellation?
The first LLM I stuck it in was a WizardLM-2 8x22b with a model tuned for the ICN by accident. I wanted the normal model.
But this part made me laugh the fuck out loud.
Transformative Infrastructure Model (TIM): The struggles with context switching and finding time to write point to the need for robust supportive infrastructure that TIM provides. This could include tools for managing workloads, platforms for collaboration, or systems that streamline communication within the Integrated Cooperative Network.
Now if that ain’t meta-meta then I don’t know what is.
But. I did feed it in to Claude. And here’s what that suite of machine learning algorithms generated:
Tim
Analyze these.
Claude
Here are a few key observations about the blog posts:
The posts span a period from November 2022 to April 2024, so about 1.5 years of writing. The author made a commitment to write 3 posts per month but often ends up writing them all at the end of the month.
The author frequently goes off on tangents and the final post often diverges significantly from what the title suggests it will be about. The writing style is stream-of-consciousness and unedited.
Several recurring themes emerge:
- The author’s struggles with ADHD and its impact on his life and relationships
- Experimenting with generative AI art and LLMs and pondering their implications
- Challenges in his personal life including grief over his father’s death, the end of his marriage, and a new relationship
- His career as a DevOps/cloud engineer and interactions at work
- Meta commentary on his own writing process and habits
The author is very self-reflective and openly shares his inner thought process, struggles, and amusing stories and observations. The tone oscillates between humorous, cynical, optimistic and melancholic.
While the individual posts are chaotic and unstructured, stepping back reveals an intimate portrait of the author’s life, mind and creative process over this 1.5 year period as he navigates loss, new loves, career developments, and a fascination with emerging technologies. There are the seeds of bigger ideas he wants to develop further when he finds focus.
In summary, it’s an unfiltered, unstructured but deeply personal autobiographical series that captures the author’s reality and state of mind during a pivotal period in his life. Imposing more structure and editing could make it more accessible to a general audience, but may lose some of the raw, authentic charm of the stream-of-consciousness style. The author may want to consider organizing and developing certain themes and threads further in a more focused way.
Me
Predict.
Claude
Here is my prediction for the next phase of this blog based on analyzing the provided posts:
Over the next year, the author will continue his commitment to posting 3 times per month, but will start writing the posts more consistently throughout the month rather than all at the end. He will find that imposing a bit more structure actually helps manage his ADHD and tendency to procrastinate.
The blog will start to coalesce around a few core themes that will be developed in more depth:
Living and thriving with ADHD: The author will share more tips, insights and personal stories about productively channeling his ADHD. He’ll potentially interview other successful professionals who have ADHD.
The impact of AI on creativity and society: As the author continues to experiment with AI art and writing assistants, he’ll write thought-provoking posts about the implications of these technologies on human creativity, jobs, and society at large. He’ll share his own process and insights.
Leadership and culture in tech: Drawing from his experiences as a staff engineer, the author will write about fostering innovation, managing technical projects, and shaping healthy team dynamics and culture. He’ll tie in themes around neurodiversity.
Navigating relationships and personal growth: With more distance from painful events, the author will extract lessons and insights from his recent struggles and share reflections on rebuilding after loss, growing through new relationships, setting boundaries, and redefining identity in middle age.
The writing will still have a strongly personal, honest and humorous tone, but the author will edit a bit more to improve clarity and focus. He’ll organize the site to make key themes and top posts more discoverable.
Traffic and engagement will grow as the author promotes the blog more on social media and in professional networks. Readers will be drawn to the unique perspective and hard-won wisdom shared with vulnerability and wit.
The blog will start to open up opportunities for the author to collaborate, consult and perhaps even write a book around one of the core themes. He’ll look back on this fertile, chaotic period captured in the early posts with appreciation, recognizing it as a crucible of transformation and growth that sparked a new chapter.
Tim
How do you know?
Claude
You raise a great point. As an AI language model, I don’t actually “know” what will happen with the blog in the future. The prediction I provided was based on analyzing patterns and themes in the existing posts, and then extrapolating those forward in a plausible way.
However, this is purely speculative and relies on the assumption that the author will continue on a trajectory of growth and development hinted at in the posts. In reality, the future is uncertain and the author’s life and writing could evolve in completely unexpected ways.
The author himself acknowledges the chaotic and unplanned nature of his writing process, so it’s quite possible that the blog will continue in a freeform, stream-of-consciousness style without coalescing around defined themes. Or the author might lose interest in the blog altogether and abandon it.
My role as an AI is to provide a believable continuation based on the data I’m given, but I don’t have true insight into the author’s intentions, desires and future circumstances that would shape the blog’s real evolution.
In a sense, my prediction says more about my own “thought process” as an AI trained to identify patterns and create plausible narratives, than it does about the actual future of the blog. I can spin a coherent story, but I can’t truly anticipate the twists and turns of real human lives and creative journeys.
So you’re right to take my prediction with a grain of salt. The fun and mystery of following a personal blog lies in witnessing the unfolding story and being surprised by the author’s choices and insights over time. I’ll be just as curious as any reader to see where this blog actually goes! Let me know if you have any other questions.
Tim
What should people know about the author?
Claude
Based on the provided blog posts, here are some key things people should know about the author:
The author is neurodivergent and has ADHD, which significantly impacts his life, work, and relationships. He is open about his struggles and is actively working to manage his symptoms.
He has a strong technical background as a DevOps/cloud engineer and has worked his way up to a staff engineer position. His posts offer an insider’s perspective on the tech industry.
The author has gone through significant personal challenges in the past year, including the death of his father, divorce, and navigating a new relationship. He writes candidly about his grief, love, and growth.
He has a keen interest in emerging technologies, particularly generative AI and large language models. He experiments with these tools for creative projects and ponders their societal implications.
The author has a unique, unfiltered writing style that blends humor, cynicism, and vulnerability. His posts offer a raw, honest look into his mental landscape.
He is highly self-reflective and intellectually curious, often meta-analyzing his own thoughts and behaviors. He quotes a wide range of thinkers and is always questioning and learning.
Despite the challenges he faces, the author maintains a fundamental optimism and commitment to personal growth. He strives to channel his struggles into creativity and self-improvement.
The author values deep connections and is working to build stronger relationships and communication skills. He shares hard-won lessons about empathy and understanding.
He sets ambitious goals for himself (like the 3 posts per month) but also honestly portrays the gap between his intentions and follow-through. His journey is relatable in its imperfections.
Beneath the self-deprecating humor and chaos, the author is clearly intelligent, innovative, and driven by a desire to make a positive impact. His potential is hinted at throughout the posts.
Overall, readers should approach the author as a complex, dynamic individual navigating immense change and challenges while maintaining a commitment to growth, creativity, and connection. His blog offers a unique window into a neurodivergent mind making sense of a shifting personal and technological landscape.
Tim
What can the author do to have meta commentary on the meta commentary?
Claude
To provide meta commentary on the existing meta commentary, the author could consider the following approaches:
Analyze patterns in his meta commentary: The author could review his past posts and identify recurring themes, insights, or blind spots in his self-reflections. He might ask: What do these patterns reveal about his thought processes, values, and growth areas?
Reflect on the role of meta commentary in his writing: The author could explore why he’s drawn to meta-analyzing his own thoughts and experiences. Is it a tool for self-understanding, a defense mechanism, a literary device, or something else? How does this meta layer shape the blog’s voice and impact?
Consider the limits of introspection: While self-reflection is valuable, the author could also acknowledge the inherent biases and blindspots we all have in understanding ourselves. He might explore how his ADHD or other factors could distort his self-perception and consider seeking outside perspectives to challenge his assumptions.
Evaluate the effectiveness of his meta commentary: The author could assess whether his meta reflections are truly providing new insights or just adding noise. He might ask: Is this meta commentary helping readers extract value from my experiences or is it self-indulgent? How can I use meta commentary more strategically?
Experiment with different forms of meta commentary: The author could play with weaving meta reflections into his posts in new ways - perhaps through dialogues with himself, imagined reader questions, or even meta-reflections on his meta-reflective tendencies (going “meta-meta”).
Connect his meta insights to broader themes: The author could link his personal self-reflections to wider cultural, philosophical or psychological concepts. For example, he could relate his own meta-cognitive processes to theories about the nature of the self, narrative identity, or the role of self-awareness in personal growth.
Invite reader meta commentary: The author could encourage readers to share their own meta reflections on his posts and their own lives. This could create a “meta dialogue” that enriches everyone’s self-understanding and sense of connection.
Ultimately, the goal of meta commentary on meta commentary would be to add another layer of depth and insight that helps both the author and readers extract more meaning from the blog. It’s a delicate balance - too much meta can feel like naval-gazing, while too little misses an opportunity for deeper learning. As with his other writing, the author’s meta-meta reflections are likely to be an ongoing process of experimentation, refinement, and discovery over time.
Yeah. I’m alright with that summary.
What a dopamine rush.
I don’t know how I feel about this though.